Should on You
Life is filled with shoulds. I should have this. I should own that. That shouldn’t have happened. I should, they should, she should, the president should. Basically, shoulds are a negative judgement on some aspect of reality and we have them all the time. Generally this leads to frustration, irritability, sadness, anxiety and/or boredom because it should be “xyz.” It is a kind of attachment to outcomes (internal or external) that leads to dissatisfaction of various types. Some might call it suffering.
Is having a “case of the shoulds” a good thing? Does it make us happier? Does it bring us any closer to our goals? Can you stop shoulding on yourself and others?
-
Chapter 1
-
Lesson 1: What is should?
Half the time we don’t even realize that we stepped in should. You could have should on your shoe right now. Worse, it could be inside you.
-
Lesson 2: Should is all around you.
We all should. It is a natural thing and a given. It is apt to happen in the human experience, like learning a language. Given that it is natural, should we stop shoulding?
-
-
Chapter 2
-
Lesson 1: The case to not dig up past should
When you should the past, you have no recourse. There is no way to change the past.
-
Lesson 2: The case to have less hypothetical future shoulds
Future shoulds are projections into the possibilities of what lies before you or others.
-
Lesson 3: Shoulding is not a present, unless you are constipated.
Although all shoulding happens in the present moment, it starves you of experiencing true presence. You’re typically ruminating in the past or future.
-
-
Chapter 3
-
Lesson 1: Cleaning off your should
Once you start seeing the should that is thrown at you by others, and yourself, you start to intervene.
-
Lesson 2: Cleaning off other's should
You can’t stop others from shoulding. That is like shoulding on top of shoulding. All you get it is more should.
-
Lesson 3: Be a should navigator
Start to notice the shoulding that is all around you and within. Start to disrupt your typical reactions to should and instead should less.
-