Phase 1
If you are working towards unaligned goals, you might need a therapist or a mediator. Most people aren’t forming goals which could be why they are struggling. It is a good investment of your time, prior to entering the conversation, to form tactful and authentic goals. See what your goals are with this brainstorm and sharing process. Here are the parameters:
Don’t make your goals an attack of the other.
Example of attack: “YOU need to get a job.”
Make it a sincere goal.
Example of in-sincere: “YOU need to take a chill-pill.”
Aim for global goals for the relationship.
Example of non-global: “YOU need to do the dishes.”
Key takeaway: Remove the word “YOU” in your goal.
These aren’t goals, or at least goals that the other is going to be receptive to. They are great ways to start an argument. I think that is a different app/website…
Examples of good goals that hit all these parameters:
“I’d like to improve our communication, our connection.”
“I’d like to have fun again.”
“I’d like to get along”