Phase 1
In the process of collaborative problem-solving, it can be highly effective for two people to agree on a neutral, non-threatening term or phrase to signal when one is merging multiple "News Title" issues, resorting to name-calling, or being demeaning.
For instance, using a term like "Pineapples" as a code word can serve this purpose well. The term "Pineapples" is deliberately chosen for its lack of emotional charge and lack of connection to the issues at hand, making it a discombobulating yet non-accusatory signal. When one participant says "Pineapples," it gently interrupts the flow of the conversation, signaling the need to pause and reflect. This allows both parties to address the behavior—whether it’s mixing issues, being derogatory, or engaging in personal attacks—without escalating tensions.
The use of such a term fosters a space for self-reflection and recalibration, ensuring that the discussion remains focused and productive, thereby enhancing the effectiveness of their collaborative problem-solving efforts.
Example of this being used:
Husband’s response to his wife’s sharing is to be defensive and use examples that supports his position/opinion. Wife says “Pineapples.”
Wife starts to belittle husband and call him names such as "lazy” or “good for nothing.” Husband says “Pineapples.”
Friend interjects while you are sharing. You say “Pineapples.”
Don’t overuse or abuse pineapples. It causes all kinds of problems. This will make sense in a lesson or two. Just remember your agreed upon term/phrase.